


skies and fields and you

by abrodkin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff, M/M, put me in the dumpster because i am TRASH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1381657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrodkin/pseuds/abrodkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I will never, ever forget the stars that night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	skies and fields and you

**Author's Note:**

> just call me garbage-chan because i belong in the garbage can

I will never, ever forget the stars that night.

We were in a field, and the sky was unusually clear. The city fog drifting out of my line of vision, revealing glimmering dots of light. It looked like a painting; I had never seen so many stars in one place, at one time.  
  
That was the night he said he loved me.  
  
The blanket we had laid on was burgundy, contrasting with the milky pale of his skin and the pitch of his hair, sweeping out across his face in short sections. He had shimmied up to reach my face, staring at me, feet reaching my calves. He had one hand propped on the side of his head, one hand encircling my own, resting in between our chests and snug in between us. I had one dead arm that was laying by my side, snug against the soft flannel of my shirt, with fingers resting on the black of my jeans. Our shoes were off, socks left on, but my feet were cold.  
  
He nudged me with his toes, and I couldn't nudge him back; I lifted up my arm, shook out the static, and brushed his hair away from his forehead. He scrunched up his face, the strands of hair tickling his eyebrows and eyelids, and I smiled.   
  
We were intense, more intense than anything I had ever experienced before. Two months had gone by and we were spending every moment together, dreading the time to come when he would move and I would be left at university. Though it wouldn't be far away, it would feel like miles and miles were between us, and I had cried even though we were new. And he had petted my hair, and he had told me it would be OK, and that I shouldn't be scared out of my wits, that we would be OK, OK, OK.  
  
Two months down the line, and we were here in the field, sky inky purple and blue and black, stars piercing it like needles and string. I could see the glimmer of the skyscrapers in the city, but I didn't care. His car was parked on the road beside the field, and we were in the middle of it, grass tickling the soles of my feet covered by socks, and a slow breeze blowing every so often. Strands of my own hair lifted and settled; the wind tickled my face and my eyelids fluttered, lashes dancing across the bottoms of my eyes.   
  
"Hey," he said, and I opened my eyes fully.  
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Have you ever seen something like this?"  
  
I shook my head. "We lived more near the country before my mom died, so maybe I have. I just can't remember it." I smiled. "I'm glad to be sharing it with you, though."  
  
"I am, too."  
  
I blinked once, twice, and sat up slowly, taking my hand away from his face and propping myself up on my elbows. He followed suit, and took my hand in his before tilting his head up at the sky.  
  
"I've seen something like this before."  
  
"Yeah?" I tilted my head towards his.  
  
He nodded. "A long time ago. Things were different back then, you know? It was less..." He tightened his grip on my fingers. "It was less peaceful. I've never told you about my past, have I?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I think it's time I should."  
  
I rubbed my thumb over his. "You don't have to if you don't want to."  
  
"I do, though."  
  
He laid back down, pulling me with him, and planted one of his hands in my hair. He started to massage my scalp, and I sighed, curling into his chest.  
  
"It was hard for me, growing up. I told you about my insomnia, right?" I nodded against his chest. "I had night terrors. I couldn't go to sleep without the light on for years, even going into my teens. It scared the hell out of me."  
  
"Do you remember what they were about?"  
  
He closed his eyes. "I was a soldier, much older than I was when I had the dreams. I can remember the uniforms we all had on so clearly, it's so creepy. Brown and white and green, and there were these weird emblems on the coats and capes. Mine always had a pair of wings. And we would fight these disgusting things, these huge giants, and so many people died. And they would call me the best one, right? But I never felt like it.  
  
"So many people died under my command, and that's when I felt the worst when I would wake up. They put me in therapy, my parents, but I never felt it helped. All of this continued into university, and I couldn't even get a roommate because I was so terrified I would wake up in the night screaming bloody murder. I have my friends, but I don't have many, and it's always been like that. I've always felt small and alone in a world that feels like it's caging me in, and it's always been that way, even before I started getting the nightmares and terrors."  
  
He paused for a minute, and I said nothing. Eventually, he opened his eyes again, gazing up at the sky, eyes glassy.  
  
"I'm OK, in case you were wondering."  
  
"Sorry, I didn't know if you wanted me to say anything."  
  
"It's fine." His mouth had been set into a grim line, but it softened as he spoke. "It's part of the reason why I always look at those dream interpretation sites. Because I never knew what it all meant, and no one could tell me. So I looked it up, and I couldn't find _anything._ I mean, it signified my attitudes and things, but it didn't tell me anything. No one's been able to tell me anything, which is why I look so often. Everything is just weird and confusing and wrong all the time, and I've been dealing with it for so long that I don't know what to _do_ anymore."  
  
"Well..." I said, testing my words. I touched his hand that was sifting through my hair, calming its tight grip. "You can keep on looking. And I'll be there to help you."  
  
"I haven't had one since I met you."  
  
My heart fluttered in my chest. "Really?"  
  
"Really. That's never, ever happened. I mean, I met Erwin and Hanji and them when I got here, but nothing changed when I met them. I gained companionship, but that was it. And I've been in relationships before, you know that. But no one ever understood anything, or I never told them about it, and they all ended." He took a breath in. "You're the first person to say that you'll help me through this."  
  
"I am?"  
  
He nodded. "I really, really appreciate it. I've, um..." His breath was shaky as he let it out and took it in. "I've needed something like you. Like this."  
  
"Well, I'll be here to help you, no matter what." I brought my face closer to his, and pressed our lips together once, twice, three times. "No matter what, Levi."  
  
The stars shined, flecks of pale, yellow light strewn across a sky as dark as the ocean in the night. The moon was an orb, shining dimly onto the grass, and we lay there together, breath mixing and mingling and combining into one. His eyes turned glassy, charcoal swirls and steel highlights, and he blinked a few times before his mouth turned up at the sides. He put his hand that had been stroking my hair onto my cheek, running his thumb over the curve of my jaw.  
  
"I love you, Eren."  
  
I was breathing hard, lips parting slightly, heart rushing and pounding in my chest to a beat only I could hear. The breeze settled; I let a breath out, and I gained back my sense of reality.   
  
I smiled to him.  
  
"I love you too, Levi."  
  
He let out a breath of relief. "You do?"  
  
"So much. I feel like I've loved you for lifetimes."  
  
"Me too."  
  
And he smiled, and I smiled, and the world stopped turning to us.   
  
I will never, ever forget the stars that night.

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while!
> 
> I'm working on quite a few things right now, including a two parter that's going to be maybe 30k words? And another three parter that's going to be way over 50k. Plus a few one shots, but those are going to be very short.
> 
> I missed writing and publishing, so I'm glad to be back. I'll try to post more than once every four months now.
> 
> As always, I have two tumblrs that you can feel free to follow. [daddylazward](http://www.daddylazward.tumblr.com) is my main account, and [i-am-an-evil-witch](http://www.i-am-an-evil-witch.tumblr.com) is my writing account, which is where you can find new fics that I write, updates, original material, etc.


End file.
